I was standing at the Rockwood/188th MAX stop right in front of my apartment. I missed my train and had some time to spend in thought. I found myself caught in a daze at the whirl of cars driving down Burnside on either side of me when everything stopped. I looked down the row of cars stopped at the light, briefly making eye contact with few while others looked firmly at the bumper in front of them.
Then the reality of my position came tumbling over me.
I'm standing on the Rockwood MAX stop.
How many times had I driven by that stop with fear rising up, blame being served, pity forming, judgement heaped, racism boiling. Now I stand as part of the community. I stand, waiting for the train, as an individual recieving the scorn I had so often hurled.
But I stand not out of guilt for my past actions. This is worth taking the time to define. Guilt shirvels under pressure, retreats to safety when confronted. To live by guilt is to live today in submission to the sins of the past that first placed you in bondage.
I stand on the foundation of God's grace. Liberating me from a life of bondage to my self. Redeeming my brokeness. God's love that touched my soul and gave me life is why I stand on the Rockwood MAX stop.
Yet another confirmation of why, as my dear friend Elena puts it, "serving Rockwood the Rockwood way is the right way."